Harmful Sexual Behaviours in Children and Young People: What Parents and Communities Need to Know

Content note: This article discusses child sexual abuse, harmful sexual behaviours and peer sexual harassment and may be triggering for some readers.

When we think about child sexual abuse, it’s easy to picture an adult as the person responsible. But there’s another part of the conversation that deserves attention: harmful sexual behaviour between children and/or young people.

It’s an uncomfortable subject, and one that can leave parents, teachers and carers wondering what they should look for, how seriously they should take certain behaviours, and what can actually be done to help.

The important thing to understand is that harmful sexual behaviour among children and young people is not something we should simply dismiss as ‘kids being kids’. At the same time, a child who displays harmful sexual behaviour should not automatically be labelled as a future adult sex offender. Early, appropriate intervention can make a significant difference.

Peer sexual harassment is more common than many people realise

Research highlighted by Bravehearts indicates that around 1 in 10 Australians experienced peer sexual harassment during childhood. The experience is not evenly distributed, either. Rates reported in the research were higher among women and gender-diverse people, as well as among people with diverse sexualities.

The research also found that peer sexual harassment was much more commonly reported as being carried out by male peers than female peers.

These figures matter because they remind us that sexual harm doesn’t always happen in an obviously dangerous setting or involve a stranger. It can happen between classmates, friends, siblings or other young people who know one another.

In fact, research cited by Bravehearts found that a substantial proportion of harmful sexual behaviour incidents reported to statutory child protection occurred in schools.

That means schools, sporting clubs, community organisations and families all have a role to play in recognising concerning behaviour and responding appropriately.

What is harmful sexual behaviour?

Children naturally explore relationships, bodies and boundaries as they grow. Not every sexual behaviour between children is harmful or abusive.

The concern arises when behaviour is developmentally inappropriate, involves coercion or pressure, ignores another child’s boundaries, or causes harm.

RELATED: Sexual Behaviours in Children and Young People

Harmful sexual behaviour can take many forms. It may involve unwanted touching, sexualised behaviour directed towards another child, coercion, exposure, sexual harassment or technology-assisted behaviours such as inappropriate sexual discussions or sharing sexual material.

The context matters.

So does the age and developmental difference between the children, whether there was pressure or force, whether someone was unable to freely agree, and whether the behaviour was repeated or involved attempts to keep it secret.

This is why responding to these situations isn’t simply a matter of deciding whether a behaviour was ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’. Adults need to look at what happened, how the children were affected, and what support is needed.

Sibling sexual abuse deserves particular attention

One of the most uncomfortable areas of this issue is sexual abuse between siblings.

Research cited by Bravehearts suggests that sibling sexual abuse is a significant form of intrafamilial sexual abuse, and that coercion is present in a substantial proportion of reported cases.

For families, this can be incredibly difficult to recognise and respond to. Parents may struggle to reconcile what has happened with their understanding of their children and family relationships.

But the fact that children are siblings doesn’t make harmful behaviour less serious.

When sexual behaviour involves coercion, force, a significant developmental or age difference, or a child who does not freely agree, it needs to be taken seriously and addressed with appropriate professional support.

Why does harmful sexual behaviour happen?

There isn’t one simple explanation.

Research points to a range of factors that can be associated with harmful sexual behaviour, including exposure to sexual material, experiences of abuse or other forms of adversity, difficulties with emotional regulation, behavioural problems, disrupted relationships and other challenges in a child’s environment.

Importantly, a risk factor is not the same thing as a cause.

For example, exposure to pornography does not mean a child will inevitably develop harmful sexual behaviour. However, research cited by Bravehearts found an association between exposure to sexual content and sexual problem behaviours, with stronger associations reported for violent or live sexual content.

This is one reason why conversations about personal safety, online safety and age-appropriate sex education matter.

Children need opportunities to learn what healthy relationships look like, what consent means, how to respect boundaries and what they should do if something makes them uncomfortable.

A child who causes harm also needs help

It can be tempting to think that the solution is simply punishment.

Accountability is important, particularly when another child has been harmed. But punishment alone doesn’t address why the behaviour occurred or reduce the likelihood of it happening again.

Bravehearts highlights research supporting interventions that involve the child or young person, their parents or carers, and their wider environment. Effective approaches can focus on relationships with practitioners, family involvement, the circumstances surrounding the behaviour, disclosure, and the development of practical skills and knowledge.

There is also an important misconception worth challenging: a young person who engages in harmful sexual behaviour is not necessarily destined to become an adult sexual offender.

Research cited by Bravehearts indicates that most young people who offend sexually do not go on to become adult offenders, and that the likelihood of a child convicted of a sexual offence being convicted of a second offence is relatively low.

That doesn’t minimise the harm experienced by a victim. It reinforces the importance of early intervention.

Technology has changed the conversation

The digital world has added another layer to harmful sexual behaviour.

Young people can now encounter sexual content, communicate sexually with others, share images and participate in sexualised interactions without being physically together.

Technology-assisted harmful sexual behaviour can range from inappropriate sexual discussions through to abusive behaviour and child sexual abuse. Research cited by Bravehearts suggests that online and offline harmful behaviours can overlap, rather than exist as completely separate problems.

This makes digital safety and media literacy increasingly important parts of keeping children safe.

Simply telling children to stay off the internet isn’t enough. They need age-appropriate guidance about boundaries, consent, sexual content, image sharing, privacy, and what to do when something goes wrong.

What can adults do?

Perhaps the most useful thing adults can do is create an environment where children know they can talk.

That means having ongoing, age-appropriate conversations rather than waiting for a crisis. Talk about body autonomy. Talk about respectful relationships. Talk about consent and boundaries. Explain that nobody has the right to pressure them into sexual behaviour or ask them to keep unsafe secrets.

And pay attention to changes in behaviour.

If a child discloses something concerning, try to remain calm. Listen, take them seriously, and avoid blaming or interrogating them. Depending on the circumstances, professional advice or child protection intervention may be necessary.

Most importantly, don’t assume that harmful sexual behaviour will simply disappear with age.

Prevention starts with understanding

Harmful sexual behaviour between children is confronting, but avoiding the subject doesn’t make it go away.

The evidence points towards a more constructive approach: recognise harmful behaviour, protect the child who has experienced harm, understand the circumstances surrounding the behaviour, and provide appropriate intervention for the young person responsible.

Prevention also starts much earlier than many people think. Teaching children about respectful relationships, consent, empathy, boundaries and safe use of technology gives them the tools they need to navigate relationships as they grow.

The goal isn’t to make children afraid of sexuality or relationships.

It’s to help them understand respect, safety and consent — and to make sure they know that adults will listen when something doesn’t feel right.

This article is based on research and information published by Bravehearts in its resource on harmful sexual behaviours, including peer-instigated abuse. It is intended for general information and should not replace professional advice or assessment.

Source: Bravehearts — Harmful sexual behaviours (including peer-instigated abuse)