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Self-care can play a powerful role in recovery for survivors of abuse, not as a quick fix or a replacement for professional support, but as a way to restore safety, agency, and connection to oneself after experiences that took those things away.
How self-care can support healing
1. Rebuilding a sense of control
Abuse often involves having power taken away. Choosing how and when to care for oneself – what feels safe, soothing, or grounding – can help survivors reclaim autonomy. Even small choices (what to eat, when to rest, how to spend time) reinforce the message, ‘my needs matter.’
2. Regulating the nervous system
Many survivors live in a state of chronic hypervigilance or emotional numbness. Self-care practices, such as gentle movement, breathing, time in nature, or consistent routines, can help calm the nervous system, reduce anxiety, and improve sleep. Over time, this supports the body in moving out of ‘survival mode.’
3. Supporting emotional processing
Self-care creates space to notice and respond to emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Journaling, creative expression, mindfulness, or quiet reflection can help survivors name feelings, tolerate distress, and process experiences at their own pace.
4. Countering shame and self-blame
Many survivors carry deep shame or beliefs that they are undeserving of care. Practising self-care directly challenges those beliefs. Each act of kindness toward oneself reinforces self-worth and helps replace internalised abuse narratives with compassion.
5. Building trust in the body
Abuse, especially child sexual abuse, can disrupt a survivor’s relationship with their body. Trauma-informed self-care (for example, gentle exercise, body-based grounding, or mindful rest) can help survivors reconnect with bodily sensations in ways that feel safe and respectful.
6. Strengthening resilience and stability
Consistent self-care supports physical health, emotional regulation, and energy levels. This stability makes it easier to engage in therapy, maintain relationships, set boundaries, and cope with triggers or setbacks when they arise.
7. Reinforcing safety in the present
Self-care practices anchored in the here-and-now help survivors distinguish between past trauma and present reality. This can reduce flashbacks and help the brain relearn that danger is no longer constant.
Trauma-informed self-care ideas
Below is a list of trauma-informed self-care ideas for survivors of abuse, which focus on safety, choice, and gentleness:
Grounding and nervous system care
- Slow, deep breathing (placing a hand on the chest or belly)
- Naming 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear
- Wrapping up in a weighted or soft blanket
- Holding something comforting (stone, fabric, photo)
- Sitting with feet flat on the floor and noticing physical support
- Listening to calming or familiar music
Physical self-care (body-respectful)
- Gentle stretching or yoga (only if it feels safe)
- Walking in nature or sunlight
- Taking a warm shower or bath
- Drinking water regularly
- Resting without guilt
- Wearing clothes that feel comfortable and non-restrictive
- Emotional & Mental Care
- Journaling freely (no grammar, no rules)
- Writing a letter you don’t have to send
- Naming emotions out loud or on paper
- Giving yourself permission to feel “mixed” emotions
- Taking breaks from difficult conversations or content
- Limiting exposure to triggering media or people
Compassion and self-worth practices
- Speaking to yourself as you would to a trusted friend
- Writing affirmations that focus on safety (e.g., I am safe right now)
- Celebrating small wins (getting out of bed, making a meal)
- Practising self-forgiveness
- Placing reminders around your space that you matter
- Creative & Expressive Care
- Drawing, painting, or colouring
- Listening to music that matches (or gently shifts) your mood
- Writing poetry, stories, or song lyrics
- Crafting, knitting, or making something with your hands
- Movement to music in a private, safe space
Connection and relational care
- Spending time with people who feel safe and non-judgmental
- Setting boundaries without over-explaining
- Reaching out to a trusted person when feeling overwhelmed
- Participating in a support group (online or in person)
- Practising saying ‘no’ and ‘I need time’
Safety and stability
- Creating a daily or weekly routine
- Preparing a ‘grounding kit’ for difficult moments
- Making your living space feel calm and predictable
- Planning exits or safety steps for stressful situations
- Keeping crisis or support numbers accessible
Therapy-aligned self-care (if applicable)
- Using coping tools learned in therapy
- Tracking triggers and what helps
- Scheduling rest after emotionally heavy sessions
- Bringing self-care into therapy discussions
A gentle reminder
Self-care for survivors is allowed to be small, imperfect, and inconsistent. Some days, self-care might simply be surviving the day. That still counts.
For survivors, self-care is not about perfection, positivity, or ‘fixing’ oneself. Some common self-care advice can feel invalidating or even triggering if it ignores trauma. Effective self-care is trauma-informed, flexible, and self-defined. What helps one survivor may not help another.
In short, self-care helps survivors heal by restoring agency, calming the body, nurturing self-compassion, and creating a foundation of safety from which deeper recovery work can occur.