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If you’ve ever been told to ‘calm down’ when your body felt anything but calm, you’re not alone. For many survivors of abuse, distress doesn’t live only in the mind; it lives in the body. That’s where grounding comes in. But what is grounding, and how can it help survivors of abuse?
Grounding is a therapeutic technique that helps bring you back into the present moment when your thoughts, emotions, or body feel overwhelmed. It’s not about forcing yourself to feel better or pushing difficult memories away. Instead, grounding helps you feel safe enough in the present moment.
What does grounding actually mean?
In psychology, grounding refers to practices that anchor you to the here and now; to your body, your surroundings, and your senses. When someone has experienced abuse, their nervous system may still react as if danger is happening, even when it isn’t. Grounding gently reminds the brain and body: I am here, I am safe, and this moment is different from the past.
Grounding is often used when someone feels:
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Overwhelmed or panicky
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Disconnected or numb
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Flooded by memories or flashbacks
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Spaced out
It can be especially helpful for survivors of complex trauma because trauma can pull us out of the present and into survival mode.
Why is grounding so helpful for survivors of abuse?
Abuse, especially child sexual abuse, can teach the nervous system that the world is unsafe. Even years later, a sound, smell, tone of voice, or situation can trigger the same fear or shutdown response that once helped someone survive.
Grounding works by:
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Interrupting trauma responses like fight, flight, freeze, or dissociation
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Helping the body settle, not just the mind
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Restoring a sense of control, choice, and safety
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Reducing the intensity of flashbacks or intrusive memories
Importantly, grounding doesn’t require you to talk about what happened or relive painful experiences. It focuses on what’s happening now.
RELATED READING: Self-Care for Survivors of Abuse
Grounding vs. avoidance: an important distinction
Some survivors worry that grounding means ignoring their feelings. That’s not what grounding is about.
Grounding isn’t avoidance; it’s regulation. It helps you stay present with your feelings, without being overwhelmed by them. Think of it as creating a stable base so emotions can rise and fall safely, rather than taking over completely.
Different types of grounding techniques
There’s no one right way to ground yourself. Different approaches work for different people, and what helps may change over time.
Some common forms of grounding include:
Sensory grounding
Using your five senses to reconnect with the present. Feeling your feet on the floor, noticing sounds around you, smelling something that triggers comforting memories, or holding something with texture or weight.
Body-based grounding
Gentle movement, stretching, breathing, or pressing your feet into the ground to remind your body where it is.
Cognitive grounding
Naming facts about the present moment, such as the date, your age now, or where you are. This can be a helpful technique when having flashbacks of abuse.
Emotional grounding
Offering yourself reassurance or compassion, such as silently reminding yourself, ‘That was then. This is now. I’m safe in this moment.’
You don’t need to master all of these. Even one small practice can make a difference.
When grounding might feel hard
It’s also important to say that grounding isn’t always easy at first. Some survivors feel uncomfortable being in their bodies, especially if their body once felt like an unsafe place. If grounding brings up distress, it’s okay to go slowly, adapt techniques, and seek support from a trauma-informed counsellor.
There’s no failure here, only learning what feels tolerable and supportive for you.
Grounding as a tool, not a cure
Grounding won’t erase the impact of abuse, and it’s not a replacement for counselling and support. But it is a powerful tool and one that survivors can carry with them wherever they go.
It offers moments of relief, moments of choice and moments of coming back to yourself.
And sometimes, those moments are exactly what healing begins with.
If you need support or information related to child sexual abuse, please contact Bravehearts’ toll-free Information and Support Line on 1800 272 831 (Monday to Friday, 8:30am – 4:30pm AEST).